


Close Call

by iamwrite



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 20:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4363268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamwrite/pseuds/iamwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Reid narrowly escapes death during one of their cases, Morgan gets cold feet about their relationship and breaks up with him. When Morgan finally gets frustrated with Reid ignoring him, the two have it out in Morgan's office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Call

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote and edited this entire thing on a six hour plane ride to hawaii and it was very intense and i loved how it turned out so yay. it veared a little bit off the original prompt but whatever

Morgan was waiting until Reid was out of the hospital. Even though it was still early in their relationship, a close brush with death had evoked Reid’s want to just be with Morgan; cuddling on the couch, falling asleep on each other, anything to be close really. So when Morgan invited him over the day he was released, Reid was so ecstatic it was almost embarrassing.

The recent day's events had had the opposite effect on Morgan unfortunately. He hated what he was doing. He truly did. It was almost like he couldn’t help himself though. The thought of losing someone like Reid had shaken him to his very core, and being impulsive and emotionally headstrong, Morgan’s immediate reaction was to break things off before he fell any more hopelessly in love. It had to be easier this way. He couldn’t lose something he didn’t have right?

The task had proved to be tougher than Morgan thought it would be. His heart had nailed itself to the floor the moment the tears started to fall. He didn’t think Reid would cry. It wasn’t something he had prepared for in this scenario. Obviously it wasn’t that much of a stretch considering what Morgan was doing, but he had skipped over the possibility in his head because he really didn’t want to believe that it would happen like that.

Morgan’s fingers itched to reach out and wipe away the moisture of off Reid’s bruised face, but he made himself resist the urge. The thing that surprised him the most was that Reid never asked why. He just looked up at Morgan with watery eyes and what could only be a broken heart. He never asked for an explanation. Morgan tried not to face the fact that it was probably because Reid knew he was full of shit. He was always good at that.

They did yell at each other though. Neither one particularly meant what they were saying, but god it felt good to just pretend. It was almost like both parties were trying to make it easier on themselves. Fighting made it seem more like there wasn’t something worth fighting for. Not long after they ran out of nothing to scream about, Reid went to grab the bag he had tossed on the couch when he arrived, jubilant and excited for what lay ahead in their night. When he reached the door he turned around, finding himself momentarily caught up in Morgan’s stare before swallowing hard and looking away.

“Call me when you decide to grow up Derek,” he spat out with a sniffle, voice raspy from the mixture of crying and shouting. The sound of the door slamming made Morgan flinch.

His head told him this was the right thing. But his heart continued to scratch and claw at him relentlessly. Morgan was sure that it would feel like it had before, like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders. But this time it was as if he had a dumbbell strapped to his back and sandbags tied to each ankle.

And then there was that feeling, a gaping hole that lingered in his chest. Morgan felt it from the moment Reid left his apartment to the very second he laid eyes on him that Monday at the office. He passed right in front of him and received not even so much as a glance, which he probably deserved. Seeing Reid was almost a relief though, even if Reid didn't really want to see him. He hadn't really realized how much the other man put him at ease until he wasn't able to be around him.

Everyone else was just kind of milling around aimlessly when Morgan got there, which seemed quite rare for the group. He was really hoping to have some sort of interesting case to take his mind off of this horrible feeling that wouldn't go away. Plus, it would practically force Reid to spend time and talk to him. He scanned the bullpen until he found JJ, whom he made a beeline to in order to investigate what was going on.

“Hey, no case?” Morgan questioned as he approached her.

“Nope,” she smiled shaking her head and picking up the files she had been fidgeting with on the desk. “Said they were giving us a few days off. Can't wait to finally spend some quality time with my boys. Isn't it great?”

“Yeah. Great,” Morgan replied, dejected. JJ stared at him curiously.

“What's goin' on with you?”

“Nothing,” Morgan answered quickly.

“Morgan-”

“I said it's nothing okay? I have casework to do and I bet you do too so...” he spoke with a tone of annoyance before turning in direction of his office. Morgan felt bad for being so short with JJ considering his mood had nothing to do with her, but he was just not apt to deal with very much right now. He probably set her farther out of the line of fire by getting away from her anyway. 

He walked by Reid again on the way to his office and was given the same response he got a few minutes ago. Morgan wasn't sure why it set him off this time, but he was suddenly fuming. The sinking sense in his heart was quickly replaced by a swell of pissed off energy. It was that kind of anger that boils beneath the surface until, out of nowhere, you want to smash a glass table or hit something with a baseball bat. And in a slightly less destructive sense, that's what he did.

Morgan wasn't one to be able to quell his anger very well once he got going and the second he made it into his office he slammed the door, hard. His hands found the closest thing and chucked it at the wall. Thankfully, it was just a bobblehead he had picked up from one of their trips to California. It didn't feel like enough though. He only leaned against the front of his desk for a second before turning around to sweep a stack of folders off of it, the papers floating to the ground at his right side. His fist pounded the wood of the desk before coming up to massage his forehead. He shut his eyes, partially shielding them with his hand. The room stilled until the only thing to listen to was his own heavy breathing.

A mere few seconds later he heard his door open and close, which was pretty much expected. He obviously couldn't throw a temper tantrum for very long before Hotch would decide to come in to see what the hell was happening. When he finally looked up however, the person standing in front of the shut door was not who he was expecting.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Reid was almost yelling. The man's presence and uncharacteristic use of a swear word was enough to stun Morgan into silence. “Well?” Reid continued, expectantly.

“I- I don't know,” Morgan sputtered. He was still shocked that Reid was actually speaking to him at all. 

“You don't know? What kind of excuse is that?” Reid continued to hound him.

“It's not,” Morgan came back, with more of his normal confidence returning.

“Would you care to explain what you're doing trashing your office then?” Reid demanded. Morgan had now regained his composure, and the way Reid was talking to him wasn't doing well for his current mood.

“I don't think that's really your business any more,” Morgan bit back. He knew it was a low blow, but he wasn't ready to confront Reid about his feelings just yet. Reid was visibly taken aback by the comment, lips forming a straight line and jaw tensing.

“I guess not,” Reid admitted, looking at the floor. “I'll just go get Hotch then, so you can explain to him what's-”

“No,” Morgan interrupted frantically, reaching his arm out to tell him to stop.

“So it does have to do with me!” Reid exclaimed, stepping closer again and pointing a finger. Morgan debated denying the accusation, but was so frustrated at this point that he thought it would just become a mute point anyway if he didn't confess to it now.

“God, fine! It's about you. Happy?” Morgan admitted, throwing up his arms and turning away to pace farther across the room.

“Not particularly,” Reid stated, folding his arms.

“What does that mean?” Morgan asked, the comment prompting him to face Reid for explanation.

“It means you and I both know that what you said to me five days ago was absolute bullshit. I wasn't going to press you about it, hell I was going to let you go because that's how easy _I ___was trying to make this on _you ___. But there is obviously something bothering you, and now that we've gotten past your goddamn pride we should probably talk about why you really broke up with me.”

__Reid had pretty much read Morgan's thoughts, just like he thought he would. What Morgan hadn't expected was Reid's level of bluntness. He was sort of banking on the two of them being passive aggressive until the tension faded and they could go back to normal. Morgan was starting to see that things were never really going to go back to how they were though. Especially when he felt the way he did and was obviously not too good at hiding it._ _

__“You don't know how hard it's been for me.”_ _

__“For you?” Reid reiterated before Morgan could keep going. He was planning on letting the man explain himself, but he couldn't help react to what Morgan had said._ _

__“Kid, ever since I caught the slightest glimpse of you this morning I've been swallowing my 'goddamn pride' so hard I could feel myself choking on it.”_ _

__“Is that supposed to make me feel bad for you?”_ _

__“No, I just-”_ _

__“Because in case you forgot-”_ _

__“Reid just let me-”_ _

__“ _You ___were the one who broke up with-”_ _

___“I never wanted to!” Morgan practically screamed when Reid wouldn't stop interrupting him. The divulgence caused a silence between the two as Reid tried to process this new information._ _ _

___“Then why did you?” he finally asked tentatively. Reid had never been good at deciphering the logic behind emotions, considering there was none. This only made them something to be that much more afraid of, because he couldn't just look up why he wanted to simultaneously punch and kiss Morgan right now._ _ _

___“I had to,” Morgan told him. What was first confusion in Reid's mind quickly transformed back into anger._ _ _

___“You _had ___to? You didn't _have ___to do anything Derek.”_ _ _

____“It’s not something I could explain to you-”_ _ _ _

____“Don’t treat me like a child Derek,” Reid retaliated, rolling his eyes._ _ _ _

____“Reid you don't understand-” Morgan was matching Reid's anger with his own._ _ _ _

____“Did somebody hold a gun to your head?” Reid roared out of sheer frustration._ _ _ _

____“No! They held one to yours!” Morgan shouted back. The room was quiet again, Morgan’s words echoing between the two of them._ _ _ _

____It didn't take long for Reid to process what the statement meant. Actually, what Morgan said was the first thing to finally make some sense. The case they had just worked went south pretty quickly toward the end, resulting in one of the UNSUBs grabbing Reid and threatening his life with, believe it or not, holding a gun to his head. Luckily Reid was able to struggle free, but not without receiving a stray bullet wound fired from the UNSUB’s gun in her final moment of panic._ _ _ _

____“Is that what this is about?” he asked incredulously, running his fingers through his hair with disbelief. “You thought if you were gonna lose me it'd be on your own terms?”_ _ _ _

____“I guess, yeah,” Morgan confessed, letting out a breath._ _ _ _

____“Well that's not just your fucking choice to make Derek!” Reid was getting angry again, as he walked toward Morgan._ _ _ _

____“Well what was I supposed to do?” Morgan once again met Reid's level of emotions._ _ _ _

____“Talk to me about it maybe? That's what relationships are Derek. You don't just run away every time you get scared! If that were the case, I would've never even gone on a date with you,” Reid laughed at Morgan's ridiculousness._ _ _ _

____“You're serious?” Morgan questioned with a tone of incredulity._ _ _ _

____“Are you kidding? Everything _about ___this scares me. You're one of my best friends Derek, and I don't have many friends. Nor am I good at making new ones. And that was my biggest fear when you asked me out. That if I took the chance on having more with you, I might lose all of it instead,” Reid said defeated. His expression no longer wore hard lines and frustration, but rather the same disheartened trepidation that Morgan knew too well on himself. “And I guess it was justified, because that was exactly what happened, wasn't it?” he suddenly tacked on the end._ _ _ _

_____Morgan's heart just about smashed into a million pieces. He had unintentionally fulfilled Reid's greatest worries about their relationship by trying to vanquish his own. The two of them weren't standing that far apart any more and Morgan studied Reid's face carefully. He examined every freckle that was littered beneath the light bruises along his jawline and the bridge of his nose; how smooth his skin looked, notwithstanding the raised scratches on his cheeks. He loved everything about the whole picture, and there was no way to deny that. In fact, he loved everything about Reid in general. And standing there, staring straight at him, made it impossible for Morgan to run away from his greatest worry._ _ _ _ _

_____“I love you,” Morgan heard himself say before he could truly think about what it would mean. Even though they hadn't been dating for very long at all, the lack of relationship status didn't negate all the hours they had spent together over the years; whether it was working a case, or just downtime with the rest of the team. Somewhere along the way they had fallen in love without even knowing it. Reid's mouth was hanging ajar and his eyes were wide with bewilderment._ _ _ _ _

_____“I- oh god, I love you t-”_ _ _ _ _

_____Reid couldn't even finish his sentence before Morgan practically ran over and captured his lips. The hunger for everything Reid would give him was evident as Morgan's hands gripped Reid's cheeks for what felt like dear life. His senses were tangled up in the scent of Reid's shampoo, something he had sorely missed in the last week. Reid sighed into his mouth, causing Morgan's heart to beat significantly faster and effectively making his body feel hot all over. The only problem occurring was they were both so eager that their tongues were having trouble fighting for dominance. Reid finally gave in, like he always did, and the warmth that flooded his mouth involuntarily compelled him to reach an arm around Morgan's back to pull him closer. The softness of Reid's lips had Morgan convinced that he could kiss them forever. And he would've, if JJ didn't decide to unwelcomely stride into the room._ _ _ _ _

_____“Hey guys!” she said rather loudly, oozing with strained enthusiasm._ _ _ _ _

_____The two almost jumped right apart. Morgan immediately gave JJ a look that he would have to apologize for later. She didn't seem fazed at all by the stare, or her coworkers’ close proximity for that matter. She had a stiff smile painted onto her face and nervous eyes that were darting around the room._ _ _ _ _

_____“What's up JJ?” Morgan asked questioningly, wiping his bottom lip off with the back of his hand._ _ _ _ _

_____“Um, just uh- next time you guys want to um, you know,” she made a vague waving motion in their direction, “You should probably, um, close the blinds first,” she finished, pointing toward the window that faced out toward the bullpen._ _ _ _ _

_____Reid and Morgan turned to look through the glass, where they could see a few people staring in their direction from the other side. Reid felt his face instantly go hot as Morgan rushed over and twisted the thin blinds shut. He was usually more careful, but he didn't know Reid was coming in here. And even if he did, he would have never thought they would start making out, given recent events._ _ _ _ _

_____“Yeah, just wanted to, um, yeah,” JJ smiled awkwardly, reopening the door and exiting with haste. The two stared at the space where she had left in silence, unsure of what to do next._ _ _ _ _

_____“So...” Reid trailed off, gaining Morgan's attention._ _ _ _ _

_____“So,” Morgan returned, once again moving toward him. The corners of Reid's face twitched into a smile._ _ _ _ _

_____“Does this mean you've stopped being an idiot and we can get back together now?” Reid asked as Morgan's eyes trailed down his body, hands snaking behind his slim back to pull him closer._ _ _ _ _

_____“Hmmmm depends. Do I get to do,” Morgan interrupted himself, leaning in to gently press their lips together; lingering for a moment and pulling away just in time to see Reid's eyes still closed and lips puckered out, “this, all the time?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I think I can make that work,” Reid concluded after a fake bit of contemplation._ _ _ _ _

_____“Good,” Morgan breathed a happy sigh of relief. “Because I am never letting you go again.” And finally, that painful rotting in his chest disappeared and all he wanted was more of Reid in his arms._ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> i also had a bunch of things italicized and then couldnt figure out how to italicize most of them on here and im frustrated now but i just wanted to post this anyway. if anyways good at that kind of stuff hmu


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